Anxiety Ball Busters
Anxiety, what a bitch. It’s the rabbit hole of despair and the party pooper of the joys of being alive! We all fall trap to it too. That sneaky minx! Most anxiety stems from our own thoughts of the future even though very few events will change the entire trajectory of your life. Unless it is chronic, (in which case go see a professional I am no doctor and probably shouldn’t be trusted to eat without a bib on certain days. I am the queen of crumbs) we all need to take a deep breath and accept that life is beautiful but messy. Messy like a devoured cookie in bed before your partner gets in but you wanted to hide it cause you were feeling sneaky but then got crumbs everywhere and all over the bed and mostly your chest because you were eating it lying down and you wanted to treat yourself by indulging while laying on your pillow which isn’t great when eating cookies or trying not to choke and be sneaky at the same time. YA FEEL ME?!?!? Often when anxiety kicks in we do things that fuel the flames. WHY DO WE DO THAT?!?!? Let’s stop together shall we?
- First, stop catastrophizing. Think back to all the major times you were freaking out about something. Are you reading this from the grave? If no, then you get the point. It almost always is OK. If yes, please don’t haunt me I get scared by my own roommates in plain daylight.
- Desensitize your fears by facing them head on. Are you constantly worried about being embarrassed? Do things to make you look ridiculous. FEEL EMBARRASSED ON PURPOSE. After a while, it’s not so scary anymore. (Please send videos if chicken suits are used in this endeavor).
- Concentrate on breath and mindset. Often times we just need to stop and calm the fuck down. Solid deep breaths and awareness is wonderful. Ask yourself why you are freaking so bad? Do you often repeat the habit around the same things? Acknowledge and let yourself know that you are a badass and you almost always work it out.
- Plan ahead. We cannot control everything and everyone needs to accept that to be a happier human, but procrastination is often the root cause of our meltdowns. This goes for sleep, food, and human interactions.
- Increase your magnesium intake. Check with your doctor (duh!) but magnesium found in leafy greens, avocado, soybeans, and fish releases chemicals in your brain that help regulate mood.
- Work out!!! I know this is the first time you’ve heard this one but it releases endorphins and as a bonus you will be so tired from running on a hamster wheel that you will sleep like a baby. (Oh and get the right amount of sleep). Cranky tired people are LAME. Sleep is COOL.
- DON’T BE PERFECT! Learn what triggers your anxiety and put your stress in perspective. Is it THAT bad? Your brain loves to play games on you so dick punt those bad thoughts about yourself out when they start up. Anxious thoughts tend to multiply into other bad thoughts that often have nothing to do with the original worry. You are awesome. Tell yourself that because we are too hard on ourselves. Give yourself credit where credit is due!!!
- Shift your focus. Color, watch something funny, cook, go outside…just don’t sit and mull over your worries. Focus on meaningful activities.
- Eat and drink well. Coffee and alcohol specifically are not helpful at all when it comes to anxiety. They are the bandaids to problems that need to be fixed by action or mindset. Fuel yourself with healthy foods and water water water! (Wine when the problem is managed).
- Use positive self-talk. Observe yourself WITHOUT judgement and sometimes just smiling helps trick your brain into calming the fuck down.
- Vision board. If you hate where you are in life, make goals and CHANGE IT. Vision boards are great for seeing those goals and remembering that what you are doing now is gonna make a difference in the future. Once you achieve a goal, replace it with a new one!
I understand that eating a banana or imagining a tranquil beach will not always correct our stress and that is OK. Our hardships are legit and should be acknowledged and endured. Perhaps though while we’re in the shits we trudge through with a little humor and style? Perhaps in a chicken suit?
Sipping a pina colada in my mind, Julia