Dealing with Disappointment
Disappointment, it’s where all your hopes, wishes, and expectations go to complete shit. We feel anger, hurt, and sadness, and if you’re anything like me, you turn into a pile of goo like Alex Mack and WALLOW!! And DWELL! And have fake fights in your head with the people you are mad at in which they say something shallow and stupid and you come at them with firm but goddamn eloquent comebacks!!! And then you convince yourself that life is over and there is NO LIFE! WHAT ARE WE EVEN LIVING FOR?!?! It fucking sucks, but we aren’t alone every single human experiences disappointment. And not just once but often because life will dick slap you in the face on the regular. What’s a girl to do?
- LET IT OUT. Experience your feelings. What do little kids do? They fucking throw a monster fit until they forget why they were sad and go on with their lives. (Disclaimer: do not have an adult tantrum in public. People will rightfully judge you). Have an adult meltdown in the comfort of your home where there is cheese and HBO available. We always try to speed up the process because we hate the discomfort that disappointment brings, but let the feels come and acknowledge that you have the RIGHT to be upset. If you shove it all down and never deal with it believe me it will rear its head eventually. Worse than a snake coming out of the toilet. It’s possible!
- DO SOMETHING TO BOOST YOUR MOOD. This one is tricky because you need to help yourself lighten up in a healthy way. Go for a walk, have a spa day at home, visit a good friend, or whatever will help you drag your sorry ass out of the pit of despair. Do NOT do things that will hurt you or other people in the future. There is a reason rebound relationships are a thing. Don’t drag other innocent people into fixing your problem. BE COOL!!!
- GET SOME PERSPECTIVE. Often when we are down in the dumps our brains think it’s a funny prank to stop working. Ever had that “I’ve been so upset now my head is a cloud of fog” problem? Thanks brains you GARBAGE TURDS!!! Once you’ve had the chance to experience your emotions, there’s often a little light that peeps into the clouds and you start to see new explanations and options. Many times the person who disappointed you has NO IDEA! (What an idiot right?) And if it’s something you really wanted like a job, know that there are other fabulous things out there that you haven’t even thought about because oh yeah, you’re being a zombie person!
- ACCEPT. We all hate this part but unfortunately time travel is yet to be offered to the public. That leaves us with accepting what has happened and truly letting it go. Otherwise you will live out the rest of your angry existence as a Disney witch. (You guys, things do NOT end well for any of them!) Accept that we are human and you will feel these feels again and again. Also, you will at some point disappoint someone else. We all can relate so at least know that you are not alone and everyone struggles with this. The difference is in how you deal. So….
- FUCKING RISE LIKE A PHOENIX FROM THE ASHES. Remind yourself that the outcome is NOT a setback. The worst thing would be to have no emotions whatsoever. Congratulations! You’re a human with real human feelings. And guys, that actually really matters. Use that passion for good and start thinking of ways to fix the problem or get back on the horse. Change and being rattled is a GOOD THING.
- USE DISAPPOINTMENT AS A TROUBLESHOOTING TOOL. Remember you are upset because you were attached to a certain outcome. In most cases that outcome can still be achieved just not in the way you originally thought or wanted. Think about the DESIRE BEHIND THE DESIRE. Didn’t get that dream job? Deep down you wanted that job because you wanted something that challenged and fulfilled you. Fall in love with someone who didn’t return the love? Sure you are rightfully heartbroken over your loss but deep down you are disappointed because what you really wanted was to be loved in a real and authentic way in return. Those things my friend are still out there!
So make sure to honor your process and give yourself the gift of time to work through your thoughts. It is healthy and encouraged to start with “THIS IS FUCKING BULLSHIT!!!” Because your experience is VALID. Don’t let life’s roadblocks and tumbles stop you though from continuing forward. KEEP GOING YOU SASSY MINX YOU!!!!!
Fighting life with lipstick and a mean side eye, Julia